Top 5 Myths About Dating Online After 40

People hold lots of misconceptions and preconceptions about the idea of online dating. If you have never dated online, or know no-one who has, you may find yourself also holding some of these myths and preconceptions.

Myth 1 – Online Dating is for the Sad and Lonely

The most common myth about dating online is that it’s for sad and lonely people who wouldn’t stand a chance in real world dating, and this is why they have ended up sat in front of the computer. What a load of nonsense! Is all that can be said about this myth! There are 15 million singles in the UK, and more than half of these say that they intend to use an online dating service in the next year – can it be true that more than 8 million people would not stand a chance of dating in the real world! The fact is, that dating online is one of the wisest things to do when you are looking to find love after 40.

When you get past that 40th birthday the opportunity to meet other singles in every day ‘real life’ are just not as large as they were when you were in your 20s, this is just a fact. When you were 20 you were probably going to parties every week, and meeting other singles every day, now you probably find yourself surrounded by people who are already married, or are in a serious relationships. So where is the sensible place to find people in the same romantic position that you are in, why the only answer to that in the 2000s is to look online. It’s time to get over myth number one, and start looking online.

Myth 2 – Online Dating is not suitable for finding a Serious Relationship

Probably the second most common myth about internet dating is that most people that you will find on online dating sites, are only there for a quick fling or worse! It is true that some people abuse online dating sites, and that there are some internet dating sites that are specifically set up for the ‘brief encounter’, this is why it is good to do your research before joining an online dating site. This website has suggestions for the types of sites where you can find people interested only in serious dating. When you do find a dating site that tries only to attract serious daters, you will feel refreshed to see that most people there are probably quite like you honest and sincere.

Myth 3 – Online Dating is not for the Over 40s

The next myth that you are likely to come across, is that online dating isn’t for people over 40. The best way to find out that this myth is completely untrue is to do a quick internet search for ‘dating over 40’ and see how many hundreds of thousands of results come back! Seriously, if you look at any of the online dating services mentioned on this website you will see that all of them have plenty of members over 40, and you will be surprised just how many people a lot older than that can be found dating online!

Myth 4 – Online Dating is for people who know a lot about Computers

Another myth is that you have to be a technical genius to be able to date on-line. If you can switch on a computer and send an e-mail, you probably have all the technical ability that you will need for successful online dating. You may think that everyone who dates online communicates using ‘text speech’ like this: l8rs !-0 xox – whatever that means!! maybe some people do, but rest assured most people communicate using good old-fashioned plain English.

Myth 5 – Online Dating Websites are Full of Freaks

The last myth that you have probably heard is that there are lots of people dating online that are pretending to be someone other than who they are. Unfortunately, just as in real life, some people online do pretend to be someone that they are not. Every so often there are stories of people pretending to be single when they are married, and people telling other lies online dating.

It is impossible to tell if more lies are told in online dating rather than in real world dating. However most reputable online dating services do their very best to make sure that these type of people, once they are found, are very quickly expelled from their site.

If you do come across someone who you feel is abusing the dating site, then you will find that most dating services give you the option to block them from contacting you. It is probably a good idea to inform the site owners of what has been going on – they will be just as upset as you that someone has been abusing their service. So unfortunately this myth has an element of truth in it, but remember, if you use a reputable site for dating, the majority of people that you meet online should be who they say they are.

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Joining More Than One Online Dating Website

Does joining more than one online dating service increase your chances of finding the perfect mate? Well the answer to this question is probably yes, but you have to ask yourself, can you afford to join more than one site, and have you got the time to manage the extra correspondence that may be generated from more than one membership. These are questions that only you can answer, but if you do have the time and the money, maybe joining more than one dating website is for you.

Increase your chances

One strategy that maybe good to use instead of joining two sites simultaneously, would be to join one of the less expensive dating services, and use this membership as a kind of experiment into the world of online dating. This way you can get real life experience of writing a profile, uploading a photo and communicating online, without anything to lose. If you are honest with people and join the site specifically stating that you are just looking for friendship, you would be able to use this experience as a fun testing ground, training you for the time when you decide to take things more seriously. If you have never dated online before, this could be the perfect way to ease yourself into this new way of dating. Once you have finished experimenting, take with you the lessons that you have learnt and join another service armed with the extra confidence that you have done some of this before. But be prepared, you may find ‘the one’ that you have been looking for during this experiment!

Some people may want to join more than one dating website at the same time and use a slightly different strategy on each site. You could decide to play to different strengths in your character to help you find out what is more appealing to people – don’t invent anything that isn’t there as this would be dishonest and counterproductive in the long run, but for example on one profile you could emphasise what you are looking for in one aspect of your life, and in your other profile you could emphasise another. This could be as simple as developing your serious side in one description and your fun side in another, it really is up to you. If you find out that an aspect of your profile description seems to be really appealing to some people, and you have missed out that point in your profile on the other dating site, include it there also and see what happens. One of the great things about online dating is that there really are no rights or wrongs, and all you have to be for success is yourself.

Most people only join one dating service, and this is probably the most affordable option in the long run. But always remember to make the most of your membership of any site, don’t limit your options too soon. There is nothing to stop you from communicating with more than one person at a time online – just remember as with all things in life be honest about your intentions. If you do decide to join more than one site, maybe some of these tips will be of help to you.

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Can Dating Online Lead to Marriage?

There are lots of reasons why people decide to date online, for a growing proportion of online daters one of these reasons is that they are looking to find that ‘someone special’ – someone to marry. It is uncertain how many people fall into this category, but with the rapid growth in numbers of peopleĀ  dating online over 40, it is almost certain that some of these people must be looking for marriage, or at least a serious long-term relationship.

Some internet dating sites, for example, pride themselves on how many people have met through their site and have gone on to marry. In fact eHarmony claim that over 200 of their members across the world get married on average every day. Just take a moment to reread this statistic. this is a phenomenal! Who would have thought this many people from just one dating site would be tying the knot every day!

Is it a good idea to look for marriage online?

You may ask is it a good idea to go online specifically looking for marriage? The answer to this question would probably differ from person to person. For example if you are only recently divorced, is it such a good idea to go online straightaway looking for marriage, or would it be better to take it slowly and look for friendship first? This question can only be answered by yourself but the important thing to do is ask yourself the question.

If you have got to 40 and have never dated should you go online looking for marriage? Firstly it is probably a good idea to think about the reasons why you have never dated, and to look deep within yourself to get the answers. Maybe ask your oldest friends for the reasons that they think are behind the fact that you have never dated, and ask them to talk with you frankly about them. If you decide that you really want to look for marriage online, ask a good friend to help you with your search, and make them part of the process of looking at and reviewing possible matches and helping you with your online communication.

When looking for marriage online, it is probably a very good idea to take it slowly. If you are slightly nervous about your search (and who wouldn’t be), maybe in your profile you could include a phrase similar to this: “I am looking for friendship with the intention of finding a serious relationship”.

Do you have children?

If you have children think carefully about the reasons that are behind why you are online looking for marriage. When you have children it is not only your feelings that you need to consider it is also the feelings of your children. If they are old enough to be open with about your feelings, ask them how they would feel if mummy or daddy started dating, you may be surprised by their answer! If you have children and are looking online for a serious relationship, always make clear in your profile that you have children, don’t think that potential partners would be put off by this – they are more likely to be put off by the fact you didn’t tell them in the first place.

Make your intentions clear

In general it is probably a good idea to make clear in your profile that your intentions for a relationship are serious. As long as this is stated upfront you should only meet people with similar intentions, and that said, there are no reasons why you should not use online dating as a route to marriage.


Take heart from this story about two people who found love online and married:

Vanessa and Joe met online and this is their story from the website:

Vanessa: I completed the personality test out of curiosity as much as anything. The results certainly got me thinking. I knew some things about my personality, but the test results really opened my eyes and encouraged me to log in regularly to see who I’d been matched with. I was amazed how many contact requests I got within the first few days. I almost didn’t know where to start!

I soon got used to communicating with suggested partners by email. I really hit it off with some of them. It didn’t take long before I received a contact request with a photo from someone called Joe. I really appreciated the fact that he’d sent a photo with his contact request. And I could tell straight away from the photo that he was a serious possibility.

After our first phone call we both felt a real connection. After we’d met each other twice we decided to move in together and get married! We are so happy together and still can’t quite believe that such two people can share such a harmonious and trusting relationship.


I met Vanessa two months after I subscribed to Parship. The kind of man she was looking for was 99% like me. The kind of woman I was looking for was 99% like her. Three months after we met she moved in with me and we have been living happily together since then. We got married just five months after we met.”

Vanessa and Joe’s story just goes to show that online dating can lead to marriage. So if you are looking to find someone special to spend the rest of your life with, where better to look than online – but remember take things slowly, don’t take rejections seriously, and most of all be yourself and have fun.

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