There are lots of reasons why people decide to date online, for a growing proportion of online daters one of these reasons is that they are looking to find that ‘someone special’ – someone to marry. It is uncertain how many people fall into this category, but with the rapid growth in numbers of people dating online over 40, it is almost certain that some of these people must be looking for marriage, or at least a serious long-term relationship.
Some internet dating sites, for example eHarmony.co.uk, pride themselves on how many people have met through their site and have gone on to marry. In fact eHarmony claim that over 200 of their members across the world get married on average every day. Just take a moment to reread this statistic. this is a phenomenal! Who would have thought this many people from just one dating site would be tying the knot every day!
Is it a good idea to look for marriage online?
You may ask is it a good idea to go online specifically looking for marriage? The answer to this question would probably differ from person to person. For example if you are only recently divorced, is it such a good idea to go online straightaway looking for marriage, or would it be better to take it slowly and look for friendship first? This question can only be answered by yourself but the important thing to do is ask yourself the question.
If you have got to 40 and have never dated should you go online looking for marriage? Firstly it is probably a good idea to think about the reasons why you have never dated, and to look deep within yourself to get the answers. Maybe ask your oldest friends for the reasons that they think are behind the fact that you have never dated, and ask them to talk with you frankly about them. If you decide that you really want to look for marriage online, ask a good friend to help you with your search, and make them part of the process of looking at and reviewing possible matches and helping you with your online communication.
When looking for marriage online, it is probably a very good idea to take it slowly. If you are slightly nervous about your search (and who wouldn’t be), maybe in your profile you could include a phrase similar to this: “I am looking for friendship with the intention of finding a serious relationship”.
Do you have children?
If you have children think carefully about the reasons that are behind why you are online looking for marriage. When you have children it is not only your feelings that you need to consider it is also the feelings of your children. If they are old enough to be open with about your feelings, ask them how they would feel if mummy or daddy started dating, you may be surprised by their answer! If you have children and are looking online for a serious relationship, always make clear in your profile that you have children, don’t think that potential partners would be put off by this – they are more likely to be put off by the fact you didn’t tell them in the first place.
Make your intentions clear
In general it is probably a good idea to make clear in your profile that your intentions for a relationship are serious. As long as this is stated upfront you should only meet people with similar intentions, and that said, there are no reasons why you should not use online dating as a route to marriage.
Take heart from this story about two people who found love online and married:
Vanessa and Joe met online and this is their story from the Parship.co.uk website:
Vanessa: I completed the personality test out of curiosity as much as anything. The results certainly got me thinking. I knew some things about my personality, but the test results really opened my eyes and encouraged me to log in regularly to see who I’d been matched with. I was amazed how many contact requests I got within the first few days. I almost didn’t know where to start!
I soon got used to communicating with suggested partners by email. I really hit it off with some of them. It didn’t take long before I received a contact request with a photo from someone called Joe. I really appreciated the fact that he’d sent a photo with his contact request. And I could tell straight away from the photo that he was a serious possibility.
After our first phone call we both felt a real connection. After we’d met each other twice we decided to move in together and get married! We are so happy together and still can’t quite believe that such two people can share such a harmonious and trusting relationship.
I met Vanessa two months after I subscribed to Parship. The kind of man she was looking for was 99% like me. The kind of woman I was looking for was 99% like her. Three months after we met she moved in with me and we have been living happily together since then. We got married just five months after we met.”
Vanessa and Joe’s story just goes to show that online dating can lead to marriage. So if you are looking to find someone special to spend the rest of your life with, where better to look than online – but remember take things slowly, don’t take rejections seriously, and most of all be yourself and have fun.